Alligator's Got Powerful Friend In Powerful Places: Gets 1st Degree Assault Charge Wiped
Reservoir police are investigating a Rankin County man’s close encounter with an alligator.
Upon further investigation and interview by the MDWFP with the victim, we have determined that the incident was not an “attack” and in fact, a bite did not occur. There was “incidental contact” between the 4-5 foot alligator and the victim as the alligator attempted to escape from under the pier and swam between the legs of the victim, which initiated a struggle resulting in the alligators claws scratching the victim.
full story here.
Alligator’s got a hell of a lawyer. I mean we agree that claws are a dangerous weapon right? In that case this gator swung arguably from first degree to maybe third degree assault? Can he even be charged with anything! Who did you pay off gator? Whose dick did you suck? Whose water chickens did you spare? I spent all of twenty minutes googling our country’s legal system so yeah, I think I’ve got it guys. I know a blatant disregard to the statutes of criminal law when I see one.
If I’m the victim here, I don’t care WHAT the officials, alligator scientists, or even alligator say about this. I’m calling this an attack. Alligator bumped into me? Attack. You see those little scars on my legs and ask me where they came from I’m calling this an attack. I’m not sacrificing cool scar stories and free beers for your “semantics”.
a BITE did not occur. There was “incidental contact” between the 4-5 foot alligator and the victim as the alligator attempted to escape from under the pier and swam between the legs of the victim, which initiated a struggle resulting in the ALLIGATOR CLAWS scratching the victim.
This is some HARDO bullshit. I’m sorry we weren’t all born to wrassle’ gators but to the everyday human being this an attack. Are claws better than teeth? Definitely. But how much better?
Guys I want to get minimally attacked by an animal so badly. I don’t want it to hurt that much and I don’t ever want to be in danger, but man, I want to cement my position as an animal attack expert. So if you think I’d let some know-it-all chalk it all up to “incidental contact” you are out of your goddamn mind.
