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New York New Yorking: Water Main Bursts At JFK: An Amazing Introduction To An Amazing City

New York New Yorking: Water Main Bursts At JFK: An Amazing Introduction To An Amazing City

New York (CNN)If you think the JFK airport nightmares are over, just wait.

First a "bomb cyclone" stranded some travelers for days. Then "a serious breakdown" in communications forced passengers to sit on tarmacs for hours.

Now the New York airport is scrambling to clean up Monday after a water main burst, sending customers fleeing into the 13-degree cold Sunday. And officials say flight delays could stretch for days.

Full story here.


Welcome to New York, here’s a burst pipe to ruin your luggage, your day, your trip, your life, and, oh, it’s 10 degrees outside. At least we’re on brand! You can say a lot of things about New York but you can’t say it doesn’t know its brand.You think you can live in an uninsulated apartment building, catch a train that’s never on schedule because it runs on tracks that were designed before the Depression, spend your day at a miserable job that doesn’t pay your rent, have not enough heat in the winter and not enough AC in the summer, and have a functional airport? NO SIR.  If one thing sucks, then everything’s gotta suck.  

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If you live here and don’t expect a disaster every day, then you haven’t lived here very long and you’re a fool. You know the most recent game I’ve been playing while I walk down the street? It’s called, “dog shit or people shit” and you can probably guess how you play. It’s like the “I-Spy” meets “Everybody poops” meets homeless people. This city’s infrastructure is crumbling and we’ve got people consistently shitting on the street, what do you expect to happen? 

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Last time I landed at LGA I left the airport an hour and a half after landing because there was only one baggage carousel working for 8 incoming flights, and there was a 45 minute wait for a cab. Was I mad? Yeah sure, but I’ve also learned to expect the worst. This is not a city that moves quickly or efficiently. So, while in other cities it might be considered “unacceptable” I can’t think of a better introduction to this concrete bunghole than a burst water main, a freezing day, and no fucking back up plan. Now you’re in New Yoooooooooork!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back: My Illogical, Unscientific, Selfish, Petty, And Rapidly Growing Distaste For NASA

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back: My Illogical, Unscientific, Selfish, Petty, And Rapidly Growing Distaste For NASA

Slow Car Chase Ends In Hugs, Kisses, And Of Course, A Taser

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