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Banning Alcohol Is A Quick Way To Guarantee The End of Days

Banning Alcohol Is A Quick Way To Guarantee The End of Days

South Africa is slowly emerging from one of the world's strictest Covid-19 lockdowns. As the threat of the pandemic loomed in March its government sealed national borders, restricted public transport use and -- in a particularly controversial move -- banned the sale of alcohol for several weeks

Government officials believe the drinking restrictions significantly reduced pressure on the country's hospitals and have hailed the results as a policy success.

South Africa's initial ban was in place from the end of March until June 1, but President Cyril Ramaphosa's government reimposed the restrictions on July 12, citing the need to ease pressure on hospitals from drinking-related admissions.

"There was a dramatic reduction in alcohol-related trauma admissions to hospitals. That would have included alcohol-based violence, gender-based violence, car accidents and so on."

[…] some of the drop in hospital admissions was also caused by the conditions of the general lockdown period, with people less likely to need treatment due to staying at home.

Full story here.

There’s no denying the world’s in a rough spot right now. There’s not a lot of happy news, and we’re all in pretty unfamiliar circumstances to various degrees. I don’t think anybody’s all that content right now. Even those of us who in March didn’t flinch at the prospect of staying inside and playing more video games are now, well, flinching.  Honestly- between the pandemic, the fallout of racist policing, and Harry trying to jump-start a career in LA, the world could end tomorrow and I wouldn’t be surprised. If you want to guarantee it, keep this up. The new-age prohibition is a terrible, terrible, idea.

Preventing people from buying booze is like unplugging the world’s television sets right now. We don’t have that much else to do other than cause chaos. Drinking at home by yourself is on a shortlist of things that’s actually still fun about living in a violent, prejudiced society crippled by a global pandemic. 

I understand the theory behind banning liquor sales in South Africa and the smattering of other nations that have followed a similar path. Theoretically, putting less people in hospitals with alcohol related injuries leaves more beds and more manpower for patients with Covid. I get that. I also can only speak for my drinking habits- and I have no real, concrete knowledge about statistics related to drunk driving, domestic violence, and drunk guys stepping on rakes or how those are related to the new ban. I do know that that when I have a few drinks too many and there’s no place for me to go because the bars are closed, I’m passing out. I don’t even have a choice. When the reality sets in that I can’t go to a bar or anywhere other than my house, I have approximately 8 minutes before I fall asleep on whatever surface I happen to be on: bed, toilet, couch, sink, floor, or ironing board.

Also, I’m pretty sure everybody stocked up on all the booze they could find right around when we all thought the world was ending tomorrow and bought all the toilet paper and preassembled bunker kits we could find.  People are drinking. All you’re doing is pissing people off when they run out! Needles to say, this also isn’t 1920 anymore! Making booze in a bathtub IS WAY EASIER NOW THAT WE CAN JUST GOOGLE HOW. The days are long gone where you could just take all the gin-making books out of the library and have the people fooled! We’ve got pinterest boards now you idiots! Every 18 year old with a cool leather jacket knows how to make whiskey out of mouthwash and dish soap!

Obviously my defense of drinking habits is only limited to those who are actually following social distancing rules and not trying to frequent bars, and the occasional yacht party, but those folks are fucking your plan anyway! Give your people the booze! Make them too drunk to leave their houses! Ban energy drinks, or adderall, or uber or any of the other things that make people want to leave their houses for any goddamn reason- but not the alcohol!

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