Today In Switzerland: Factory Vents Malfunction: Starts Raining Chocolate Powder
Residents of a Swiss town got a bit of a shock when it started snowing particles of a fine cocoa powder after the ventilation system at a chocolate factory malfunctioned.
The Lindt & Spruengli company confirmed local reports on Tuesday that there was a minor defect in the cooling ventilation for a line for roasted “cocoa nibs” in its factory in Olten, between Zurich and Basel.
The nibs, fragments of crushed cocoa beans, are the basis of chocolate.
Combined with strong winds on Friday morning, the powder spread around the immediate vicinity of the factory, leaving a fine cocoa dusting.
Full story here.
Jaysus Christ. I’m over here in Colorado wiping ash off the windshield, reading about ladies facing off with buffalo, and guys with swastikas on their foreheads killing neighbors; and meanwhile in Switzerland it’s raining chocolate.
This is the most Swiss thing of all time. Of course it rains chocolate. The country is wonderful. They’ve got 4 different nationalities that all speak different languages that somehow still get along. They eat nutella for breakfast. They’ve got some pretty astounding mountains that they love to climb and yodel on top of, and either it snows soft, puffy, snowflakes, or it snows chocolate powder.
If this story took place in the US, that vent malfunction wouldn’t have happened at an acid factory. We’d be like, “oh it’s raining clear water - just kidding that’s hydrochloric acid and your face is melting” It would be a national disaster, and meanwhile over in Switzerland all the little Swiss cherubs would taking a minute away from their Sound of Music reboots to be catch chocolate snow on their little tongues.
That’s the difference between Switzerland and the US in a nutshell. Everybody’s got the lucky friend. The friend who wins every lotto. The friend who gets in a bad car wreck and walks out unharmed. The friend who leaves the gas on but then his oven explodes in a puff of glitter. Let me tell you, in this analogy the US is not that friend. No, in that scenario our oven explodes in fire, the car wreck breaks our wrists and prevents us from jerking off for 12 weeks, and the lotto ticket is covered in poison and kills us.
You wonder why people are so happy over in that there part of Europe, it’s because their disasters are dessert. You ever see the Chernobyl remake where the factory spews out marshmallow fluff? It’s way different.
Shout out to all our first responders not battling cocoa powder.
