How Jaded Do You Have To Be To Think Your Wife Is Poisoning You And Your Stepson?..And Be Correct

A 72-year-old woman has been charged with attempted murder after a hidden camera, set up by her husband and stepson, caught her in the act, police said.

Susan McNair was arrested Aug. 11, for trying to poison the two by adding paint primer and cleaning chemicals to their drinks, according to Wilmington police, and video shared with authorities by the would-be victims shows it.

The son fell ill first, a Wilmington policespokeswoman told McClatchy News, and the father noted a burning sensation in his mouth when he took a drink.

After comparing notes, they began to suspect they were being poisoned. They decided to prove it, and positioned a hidden camera to record what was happening out of sight.

Full story here.

What’s crazier: getting a burning sensation while you take a drink and jumping to the conclusion that your wife is trying to murder your whole family, or being right about it! 

First of all, kudos to these two fellas for having the balls to stay in the house with the lady who was poisoning them long enough to set up the nanny cam for the big reveal! They were just completely banking on the fact that she wouldn’t double the paint primer in the Moscow Mule the next time around. How do you not compare notes and think that maybe you guys bought some bad milk?

This also shows just how susceptible I am to being poisoned. Do you have any idea how long it would take for me to get from “my mouth burns” to “I’m being intentionally fed chemicals”? The answer is longer than it would take to kill me with said chemicals. I had a bowl of raisin bran the other day that tasted off. I couldn’t place it to save my life. Was it the milk? Couldn’t tell ya. Was the raisin bran compromised? I’ve got no clue, guys! Maybe I just forgot what a bowl of raisin bran tasted like! With no conclusive evidence, you better believe I threw it in the Cold Case file in the back of my brain and had another bowl the next day. You’re damn right it still tasted weird! 

I’m the type of guy who is super freaked out by the idea of bad milk, but consistently has let milk get bad enough that it’s clumpy as all hell I somehow never realize until it’s in my mouth, regardless of the fact that it has to get into the bowl first. At what point do I stop assuming that there’s something wrong with my

1. milk

2. refrigerator

3. pantry

4. mouth

5. mouth and tastebuds

6. frontal lobe

7. perception of reality

8. bowls

..and start to suspect foul play. I’m not sure! And I’m not sure I’ll ever be sure because I’ll literally be dead.