United Airlines Flight Attendant Was Drunk On Plane: Can Anybody Blame Her?
United Airlines is investigating claims that a flight attendant on one of its planes was belligerently "drunk or stoned" during a flight from Denver, Colorado, to Williston, North Dakota, on Thursday.
In a statement to Newsweek, the airline said it was aware of the incident. The flight in question was a Trans States Airlines flight, one of United's regional service providers.
At least one passenger tweeted to United about the incident. According to passenger Erika Gorman, the attendant appeared either “drunk or stoned” and made what was supposed to be a routine flight “terrifying.” Gorman said she spoke to the pilot and told him “they had an out of control attendant.”
At one point, the flight attendant allegedly told passengers “if your seat belt isn’t tight, you fucked up.” Police officers and an ambulance were waiting when the plane landed at its destination, according to Gorman.
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This is one of those ones that’s hard to judge since if I was a flight attendant I would be drunk all of the time. You know it’s that whole glass houses and throwing stones thing: I could go on and on about how your one real job as a flight attendant is not to get drunk (because let’s be real, if that thing goes down you’re all dying), but then if I ever found myself in their shoes I would be hammered before I even got to the airport. You can’t name a drink or type of alcohol I wouldn’t throw back if I had to be, for all intents and purposes, a plane waiter.
Seriously what’s fun about being a flight attendant? You breathe the worst of everyone’s air, you push a cart up and down those aisles like Sisyphus and his boulder, and you have to spend all of your time on an airplane with a smile on your face. I’d be boozed up without a doubt, drinking piña coladas from a goddamn blender. I’d be throwing back vodka in a plastic jug, bailey’s with extra milk, manischewitz if I was feeling celebratory, fermented apple juice if things got hairy, whatever I needed to take the edge off. Your best bet for getting me down the aisle without eating shit would be to attach me by harness to some type of ceiling rail system like a drunken Pinocchio who can’t handle the news that he’s got two tiny wooden balls.
Heck if you worked for an airline that killed dogs for fun, and were headed to bumblefuck North Dakota, you’d drink too! This United Airlines hostess is me BEST CASE SCENARIO working on a plane. There’s only one version of flight attendant Keegan, and he’s drinking to keep the demons away.
