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Speaking Of Holding In Your Sneezes: Looks Like Rats Weren't Responsible For Spreading The Black Plague: An Apology

(CNN)One of the worst pandemics in human history, the Black Death, along with a string of plague outbreaks that occurred during the 14th to 19th centuries, was spread by human fleas and body lice, a new study suggests.

It was previously suggested that rodents, whose fleas can also transmit the bacteria behind the plague, were the main culprits behind Europe's second pandemic of the disease that saw a string of outbreaks occur in succession.

The model outcomes therefore suggest the spread of the plague back then was mainly attributable to human fleas and body lice, according to the study published Monday.

"Our results support that human ectoparasites were primary vectors for plague during the Second Pandemic, including the Black Death," the authors write.

This challenges "the assumption that plague in Europe was predominantly spread by rats," they added.

Full story here.

I’ve been pretty vehemently anti-rat during my brief stint as a blogger. I haven’t been as vicious to them as I have to my other blog fodders, such as snakes, airplanes, spiders, or Roy Moore, but I’ve still given them a pretty hard time. I don’t know if I’ve said anything too terrible, but I have definitely insinuated that rats were responsible for the bubonic plague. In the light of new evidence, there’s only one thing to do here: apologize. I’m sorry, rats, I may think you’re dirty, worthless, unfairly invincible creatures, but I no longer have the evidence to claim you as responsible for the deaths of all Medieval Europeans.

This doesn’t bode well for humans though, right? This whole time we thought it was some outside factor, but in the end it was just us being dirty that killed everyone. That’s a huge bummer! The finger’s pointing right at us! Crazy to think that people sleeping in their own filth and letting lice run rampant would lead to rapid spread of a deadly disease.

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Speaking of spreading disease, does anyone else really freak out when someone wears a SARS mask on the train? If you’re going to get me sick just do it, don’t show me that it’s going down. If you’re sick enough to be wearing a SARS mask you shouldn’t be going to work. That’s that. Fake a cough, sing along to some Adele to make your voice extra raspy for when you call in sick, or just pretend to be healthy and hold in your fucking sneezes: just leave that mask at home. I get off the subway expecting to cough up blood, but I just don’t want to see it coming in slow motion.